Frequently Asked Questions

Is this really a FAQ???
Well, no, not really in the strict sense, no. This is more of a 'questions i think people would ask if they asked me questions ever' page. SO yeah, I'm making up questions and answering them.

Your page sucks!
Well now, that's really more of a statement than a question isnt it? This is frequently asked questions you know. Seeing that you cant even form a decent question like 'Why does your page suck so much?' I'm not even bothering to answering you. But obviously, um, yeah.

Why does your page suck so much?
Ugh, fine smart ass. The short answer is that your question is flawed. My page rocks. My page is exactly what I want it to be. Some people enjoy my page and if you dont you can commit suicide or log off, it's all the same to me.

Why are you so bitter about girls?
That is a difficult one. Mostly becuase I write about girls when I'm feeling bitter about them. SO it really only seems like I'm bitter. Everyone has thier own special way of dealing with the pain associated with girls. Some people talk about it, some people go get a new one, some people wrestle other men for a ball, and some people start wars. I write about it. It helps relieve the stess and such. Sometimes I write about how much I love girls too. Its all part of the specTACular circle of life.

Do you ever wonder if god hates you?
God and I have a special relationship. He doesnt bother me and I dont believe in him.

Why arent the daily adventures updated more frequently???
Whine whine bitch bitch. Well, that's exactly what you should do. See, I'm a very lazy person and unless people whine a lot I dont usually update the daily adventures. I used to... but now I dont for some reason. I would figure out why but that would be too much work. I could take the work I'm spending writing this and do it... but meh.

You are such a cool person! I don't believe you dont get girls! Why dont you?
Amazingly this one isnt made up. I dont know what to tell you. I better stick to the questions I make up so I can have answers.

What is the answer to life the universe and everything?
You're not going to like it. No, you're really not going to like it.

Can I have your phone number?
WTF, what the hell kind of question is that? Yes.

Are you available on such and such a date to go to blah blah blah?
With the increbily busy and socially active life I lead, yes.

Why not?

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
The chicken. You see, if you understand the theory of evolution, then you would realize that whatever species that was on the evolutionary rung right above the chicken would have laid an egg. That egg would have been a chicken-predecesor-egg if the naming convention follows that the egg belongs to what laid it. So then a chicken hatched from this egg. Thusly, the chicken came first.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?
573. Why yes ladies, I do have a powerful and patient tongue. Rawr.

Why did they cancel Family Guy, Futurama, and Firefly?
Do you want to die??? Never bring up Fox's stupidity with me ever again! I FUCKING HATE THOSE FUCKING FUCKERS!!!! AHHHHH!!!! DIE WITH PAINFUL SLOW PAIN-ISH DEATH!!!! Grr

Pepsi or Coke?
This is so over-used. Dr. Pepper.

I have a super-cool question that needs to be added to your FAQ! Where do I ask it?
Use the forums. I'll add any question people put there.