Friday, March 28, 2003 I don't deserve this

I shouldn't be sad right now! Seriously, this is starting to piss me off. Why should I be sad? I am a good person. I don't hurt people, I do work when I need to, I give everyone the benefit of the doubt, I am a good person! I don't deserve this crap. Right now I am so sad, and I don't even know why. I am guessing that Allison is a big part of it, but I know that's not all. I am just feeling really down. The kind of sadness where I don't want to be on the planet anymore, and I don't even know why!!! Why don't I deserve to be… hold on, phone. Wow, Jessica just called me. I love hearing her voice, she makes me so happy. She asked if I was going to March madness, I wasn't planning on it, but I said I was going anyway because I love her. Now I have to go. This should make me happy. Oh well. Ill go tell my mom that I have to leave in half an hour, maybe she will feed me and I can watch some TV, this rant will have to be cut short. Ill hope for the best (somehow we stay together the whole time and fall madly in love), but I'm assuming mediocrity (saying hi to her and getting a smile and then going and finding people I know to sit with).